”How can I heal?” is probably the most frequent question that I am being asked by other people. In this post I want to elaborate a bit on this question and share my personal thoughts and experiences about healing. And I’d like to start with what healing is not.

Healing is not a certain destination that we reach, but rather a continuous journey inwards to meet ourselves. Healing is not a quick fix that just magically happens overnight, but demands patience, self-accountability and curiosity towards ourselves.  Healing is not following a certain manual that someone prescribes you, but writing your own one by getting to know yourself and your needs.

In my opinion, healing starts by becoming aware of and acknowledging our trauma. This also means that we have to accept that we cannot change the past and what happened to us. By accepting how we are feeling in this current moment, we can stop to be in resistance with ourselves. In this way, we can validate our own reality and our feelings. This process in itself is healing, because we no longer have to fight against ourselves or deny our feelings and our reality. We can now open up for our truth (what did really happen to me and how I perceived it) and we are able to explore our underlying trauma. This happens in our own timing, and should be a self-determined process. In this way, we also regain autonomy over ourselves. It is essential that we feel safe and supported and have trust in our therapist during this process.

The more we come in contact with our suppressed trauma feelings and understand ourselves, the more we free up and integrate the trauma energy that was stuck in freeze state in our unconscious. By feeling our suppressed feelings, we are also validating our experiences and can emotionally (and often also physically) process what happened. Thereby, we also learn how to explore and come in contact with our needs. As a result, we will find it easier to meet our needs and wants in day-to-day life and how to set and maintain boundaries with others.

Another point I’d like to emphasise is that by working with our trauma, we might feel extremely overwhelmed. Facing the horror from our past can make us feel like we are trapped in a nightmare. Whilst feeling our emotional pain is healing and helps us to integrate our trauma, it is important not to lose ourselves in our pain either. I find it deeply healing to have the focus on my intention, i.e. why I am doing this inner work, whilst holding space for my pain and my emotions. It is also very important that we trust ourselves and our perceptions in this process.

I also believe that just by understanding our trauma biography, we are not healing. Neither are we healing when we only do well-being rituals. I think that these two approaches go hand in hand. By working with our trauma, we can gain clarity and a deeper connection with ourselves. However, we also need to take intentional action in our day-to-day life to create a healthy and happy life that brings us joy and fulfillment. 

Inspiration for healing trauma:

• Get to know yourself and your trauma biography

• Explore your psyche in safe & supportive space

• Get to know your needs and wants and create ways to meet them

• Create well-being rituals that help you to ground and self-soothe

• Explore intentional movement and somatic practices  

• Feel your feelings and learn how to hold space for yourself

• Ask for support and find the therapy/healing modality that resonates with you

• Learn how to regulate your emotions

• Acknowledge your survival strategies. They are not bad, they simply helped you to survive. But they can also become dysfunctional. Eventually we can let go of them, when we have integrated our trauma and know how to self-regulate our emotions.

• Honor your boundaries

• Listen to your intuition

I hope I could share some inspiration that can support you on your healing journey.

Much love,

Julia